You have no knowledge about babies, how to raise them, how to best care for them (no matter how much you read 'What to Expect When You Are Expecting') and yet, you have been given the job, by God.
Adley,
Here is my advice...
Right now in my life I struggle with parenting a lot. I'm very passionate about being a mother and honestly, Satan is bent on taking the passion right out of me.
He uses things like...
well meaning advice from family, friends and acquaintances,
the doctor's office,
the diapers I use,
the food I feed you,
the way I train you,
the education or lack of education I provide you,
the government,
and, the latest statistics,
to make me feel very inadequate. He uses those things to show me how ill prepared I am for being a mother. He is wants to show me how little I know. He also uses those things to contradict each other. He shows me two statistics that contradict each other, two doctors that disagree, friends who know best and other friends who know better.
Some days, he totally beats me up. I feel that it is my job to raise you to the best of my ability and just when I think I'm doing alright, he shows up with the evils of preservatives in our daily sandwich meat and juice.
He also wants me to feel that my job is very inadequate.
He says...
You don't have a college degree,
you just stay at home,
the government does better at raising your children,
children eventually realize that they want to be better and don't need any sort of training,
you work 40 hours a week...you must be a bad mom,
homeschooling is horrible,
you hold your child too much,
you don't hold your child enough,
you let your babies cry too long, it will ruin them,
you don't let your babies cry and that will ruin them,
public school is horrible,
and really the list goes on.
My dear daughter I want to point out something to you. The point you need to recognize, the point I'm learning is that Satan is the one trying to put me out of a job. Not just any job, a job that, according to Psalms 139 God laid out for you in my womb while He was knitting you together. No wonder Satan wants to destroy that. If he can make me feel like a failure and make me want to quit then he wins. He wins, not just me, all of us.
I have received two pieces of advice that make the most sense. I want to share these with you.
First, you will fail as a parent. You will not be perfect. You will mess up. How you raise your children will effect them even as a grown up. It is a bitter pill to swallow. I want to be the best parent possible and to raise you in the best way possible. I
Second, if you put your focus on what is truly most important, the little failures won't matter. The phrase that stuck out to me the most was, 'if my children never learn to tie their shoes, read or write, but they love God, I haven't failed.' Those are pretty powerful words. We haven't really lived these ones out yet, so I realize my advice sounds pretty premature. You are nearly three and your brother is nearing eight months. I can't explain my faith in great knowledgeable terms but I do believe that the Bible spends more time talking about how to live to follow Christ than our sandwich meat or education background so this advice makes sense.
Don't worry yourself about taking everyone's advice. If God has ordained you to be a mother, He will equip you for the calling. You will have to lean on Him and trust Him and give (this is the hardest part) 'your' children to Him. And really, I give you sugary snacks, so I'm doomed otherwise. :)
Love,
Mommy
