Dear E,
Today, October 20th, 2012 at 12:02 pm you were born. You were 8lbs (technically 7lbs, 15.8oz, but the nurses round up and said you counted as an 8, which meant a lot to mommy who got to push you out!) and 21 1/4 inches long.
This is your birth story...
When we were going through the pregnancy and birthing process with our first we determined very early that we wanted to do things as normally as possible. To us, birth was a normal, natural process and we didn't like the medical 'sickness' approach that most doctors take. We educated ourselves, practiced and prepared for a positive but also challenging experience.
Our doctor said he was on board with our normal approach but ended up doing a lot of things differently than we asked. Our daughter was born, she was beautiful and it couldn't be undone and it didn't matter anymore, we had our precious baby in our hands. When we found out we were pregnant with E, we decided that we still wanted a natural, normal approach to childbirth. We sought the care of local midwives (OU Midwives) to go through us during our pregnancy and birthing process.
Our pregnancy was perfect. I experienced very little morning sickness, pain or heartburn which was such a blessing while having a toddler to chase around. We had no complications, no abnormal test results and big sister was learning about the baby in mommy's tummy and very excited to meet him.
Thursday, October 18th we started having some good contractions in the morning. We went to the chiropractor for an adjustment and acupuncture. We also did a lot of walking. We were very determined this time to give birth naturally rather than be induced. The contractions fizzled out in the evening and I was a bit disappointed but I kept reminding myself that we still had two weeks before induction which was plenty of time. The contractions picked up again Friday morning, the 19th and this time I was more eager to dismiss them. I went ahead and rested around the house in case labor increased. Around 11am the contractions required a little bit of concentration and Jason had work so our wonderful friends Heather and Philip watched Adley until lunch time. We went out for mexican (*spicy food*) but I didn't have much of an appetite and eating made me nauseous. We came home and laid down for nap time. I got to sleep for about an hour and half before the first contraction woke me. I went to the bathroom thinking that my body was telling me it was time relieve myself and I had a bloody show. At this point I still didn't think I was in true labor. I really felt like my body was a putterer and that it would take days before I was ready to give birth, but I was excited because I felt like it would be within the next few days that labor would start.
We went on about our day and finished the evening with a nice long walk. The contractions were still coming and required a little bit of concentration but weren't painful. My contractions also hadn't established a pattern so I was still convinced we had plenty of time. My parents had decided Friday morning to go ahead and come up in the afternoon and spend the weekend with us whether I gave birth or not, and it was a good thing they came!
I ate salmon and biscuits for dinner around seven and then rested. Somewhere between seven and I think ten, my labor established a pattern and we thought I might be in labor. Jason went and borrowed a horse trough from some church friends who bought it as a temporary bathtub while they were remodeling their home. When he got home he cleaned it and filled it with water and I spent a good amount of time in the water relaxing through contractions. It felt amazing! Around 12:30/1 am I told Jason that I wanted to go to the hospital while I could still manage my contractions on my own if he thought I was in labor. Originally we wanted to wait until as late as possible to go to the hospital but I was afraid I would lose my control in the car ride. All the way to the hospital I kept saying that if I was only dilated 2 cm I would cry. He said that if they nurses said I was only dilated to 2 cm he would cry as well. :)
When we got to the hospital they checked me and I was dilated 5 cm and Elijah was back out. I was SO happy. To know that I had labored so easily to a 5 on my own and to be that far along meant that I would be having my baby and soon! Adley was sunny side up and we had a hard time turning her during labor that I was grateful Elijah was in the right position! My contractions required a lot of concentration, but with Jason as my amazing birth coach (and my mom too!) we made it through to 9 cm. The contractions weren't 'painful', they just felt like a lot of pressure and work.
Somewhere around 7 or 8 cm Elijah turned himself around to be sunny side up, we still dilated to a 9, but then stalled. Every position that I could comfortably labor in Elijah was actually pushing himself back up leaving me stuck at a 9. The positions needed to turn him and push him down towards the birth the canal were not manageable for me, they were very painful. I hated losing that control. After several hours of trying unsuccessfully to turn him and push him down so I could dilate to 10 cm I requested pain medicine. We really wanted to avoid pain medicine, but we were stuck at 9 cm for about 5 hours, I could not maintain control, and I needed a break. My condition for using the pain medicine was that I would force myself to stay in one of the turning positions until the medicine wore off. (Those positions were side lying with a leg up or on my hands and knees.) We were given nubane and I tried side lying for several hours and got to rest up a bit in between contractions. The side lying position was still unsuccessful and I felt defeated. I could not turn Elijah without losing control which made labor much more painful and unbearable. One of our nurses came and talked to us about an epidural. I remember thinking several things, they just offered me pain medicine, they said I could get back into the bathtub, and they just offered an epidural...I am dilated to a 9, they must think I am not progressing and that it will be a long time before the baby is born.
Those thoughts were very defeating and I was not told that positions I was so comfortable in earlier were actually pushing him up away from the birth canal and preventing further dilation. In retrospect I wish that someone had told me that he was moving further up rather than down. I didn't understand during labor why I couldn't dilate past a 9. I thought we were literally 'stuck' rather than going backwards in progress. I think my midwife realized that I was mentally being defeated and so rather than give me negative news she just kept encouraging positions that I could not handle on my own.
We didn't want the epidural. I still wanted to experience the labor and the pushing. Jason and I talked it over and I felt like if I couldn't turn him with and without pain medicine that we didn't have another option other than c-section. Again, I felt like he was stuck at a 9 and I didn't realize he had regressed because of his position. He was much harder to turn than his sister! I felt like if we said yes to the epidural I could motivate myself enough to try the hands and knees position until the epidural team was ready. I was thinking I would have about thirty minutes and that we could still do it. Jason was about to walk out of the room to tell the nurse that we wanted to do the epidural when my midwife and nurse Sandy walked in.
It was God's timing that Sandy walked in, because my nurse was so sure I would take the epidural that she already had the tech and tray prepared outside of the room. I would not have had thirty minutes and we would have gotten the epidural. Nurse Sandy was amazing! She told me to get over myself, turn on my hands and knees and she encouraged me and manually helped Elijah turn his little head. She saved us from the things we wanted to avoid and helped us turn Elijah. I think hearing a fresh voice and knowing that with each contraction I was making progress turning him I was motivated to move past the pain and help Elijah move.
We got to 10 cm within an hour and started pushing. I am not that great of a pusher so it took me about two hours. The time actually went by fast for me. I thoroughly enjoyed learning my body and the feeling of pushing a baby out myself. I asked for a mirror so I could see my progress and once I saw part of his little head and the dark hair on it I was so motivated to push him out.
Elijah Paul Harvey was born at 12:02 pm on Saturday, October 20th and his Nana delivered him.
I learned so much about my body, myself and my ability to handle labor. Even though I had moments where I felt so defeated and lost control I enjoyed being able to give birth to my son on my own. Experiencing completely natural contractions, mostly natural labor, the 'ring of fire' and the release of his sweet little body was so empowering. I am so, so grateful for Sandy for not letting us lose the experience that we truly desired. I also learned that I will live in the hands and knees or side lying position in early labor so my sweet children don't get the opportunity to turn!
I felt so much more present in this labor. I could tell my body was ready and it wasn't being forced. Post delivery I felt a lot of defeat in how my labor went. My original goals were to not have any pain medicine or even consider the epidural and I did both. I felt like if I could not do this on my own what would be the point of having another baby. I spent some time talking with my mom about my labor and how it progressed. It was a huge blessing to hear about my labor from a different perspective and hear ways I could have improved or things we could have done differently. I think having less stubborn children would help too! ;)
