Be Still

I have the hardest time with this one...

I always have an opinion, I'm loud, I'm vibrant, and I want my way.

...I sound very American don't I...

But when it comes to right down to it...I have trouble stopping and listening. One of my hardest personal struggles is personal time with God. I think this is a problem for me because I'm not a sit still person. When I'm sitting down I'm thoroughly engaged in something (even if that is sleep or food, ha!) or several things.

Psalm 46:10 'Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'

Having a baby makes me realize more and more each day how much of a failure I am at being a Christian and how wonderful and amazing and loving and forgiving God is with me. I'm serious. I recommend that everyone should have at least one child to teach them a couple things...
1. How much you can love and sacrifice for something so small.
2. How much you fail at giving God yourself.

I sit looking at my adorable baby girl I cannot imagine that she will one day stomp away angry, disobey or even tell a lie. But, she will. I argue in my head, but I've raised her, I've nurtured her, fed her from my own breast and clothed her, surely she will know how much I love her and she will want to please me and she will do no wrong. But, she will.

And I do. God loves me, all He asks of me is to love Him, and to Be Still. Simple requests really. Love him, enjoy Him, spend time with Him. Be Still, take a break, relax, let Him do the work. And, I stomp my foot, micromanage and lie.

And He still loves me, cares for me, and gives me grace.

And I pray everyday that I will still love her, care for her, and give her grace. I pray that she will come to love God and want to Be Still at His request.

So after I've closed this post, I will Be Still. I encourage you to take a moment as well.